Dear Drama Queen,
I understand getting upset. You have so much passion and desire for riding. I know how much you want to do the very best job. Sometimes the world seems to conspire against you; it’s like every bad thing happens to you and none of it is your fault. No one else has to cope with your unique situation, and no one understands. On top of that it feels bad when you don’t get the respect you deserve.
Sometimes it happens at a show. It’s a stressful time and there are always extenuating circumstances. Some judges are blind or simply not very bright. It isn’t always fair.
Feelings get big at horse shows, but sometimes it happens at home too. Everyone else is so self-important; they are all rude and impossible to be around. There are days when every effort fails and a saint would cry. Life is hard.
I understand –literally. I have my drama queen days too. Sometimes I am cranky and hormonal, and don’t like anybody. Sometimes I’m confused and stressed out, and don’t know which way to go. Sometimes I just feel like stomping my feet and throwing my head back and screaming. Being a drama queen is very satisfying. Period.
The problem with being a drama queen is that it really impacts others. You aren’t always aware of it but I see it. It changes everyone’s mood; less laughing, more tension. People look away and don’t make eye contact. I think they talk about you later. It isn’t about whether you are right or wrong, people are just uncomfortable with the conflict and want it to stop. They end up holding a grudge, can you feel it? Even the dogs avoid you…
But not me, I stand with you. On a good day, you and I are undeniable, beautiful partners sharing the same shadow.
But when you get angry, frustrated, or any of those dark thoughts -I am still your partner. I feel every part of you tense up. I get embarrassed and nervous for you. Is it my fault, did I do something wrong? Are you ignoring me? I worry, I don’t want to be a bad horse.
Sorry to sound like a drama queen about this, but it really does hurt me the most…
Signed, Your Partner.
Anna Blake, Infinity Farm.