Has it been a year? Scanning the pasture
from the kitchen sink, I don’t see your
swayed back. A sideways pause at my desk
staring out the north window to checkthe runs; there’s an old donkey in yours.
Walking my tea to the back porch at dusk,
the colors aren’t flickering in your tail.
The sun isn’t setting softly on your ears.You’re still not here. It’s a time-worn habit so
I keep checking. But for a sense that you might
be standing just back of me, your whiskers not
quite tickling my shoulder. I still don’t miss you.
….
Anna Blake at Infinity Farm
Horse Advocate, Author, Speaker, Equine Pro
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(WordPress Photo Challenge is a weekly prompt to share a photo–I enjoy twisting these macro prompts to share our micro life here on the Colorado prairie. I take these photos with my phone, on my farm. No psych, definitely not high-tech.)
Todays post was so close to my heart. It’s been two years now since I lost my sweet boy Cody. He was so gentle and always near by. Sometimes I think I see him in the leaf colors in the woods, or when the sunshine hits the dry grasses. He was a joy and I still feel him around every day.
Exactly. Bless your good horse, and thank you, Dianne.
Todays post was so close to my heart. It’s been two years now since I lost my sweet boy Cody. He was so gentle and always near by. Sometimes I think I see him in the leaf colors in the woods, or when the sunshine hits the dry grasses. He was a joy and I still feel him around every day.
i keep checking. it is a time worn habit indeed.thank you for expressing it so beautifully. rather sadly i feel their absence rather than their presence. more left than here right now. its bittersweet.
It is a story that always ends the same way… bittersweet indeed.
Eight years ago this very day & I still lose my breath. Then I remember that perfect last ride four days earlier and my heart just melts to tears.
Sorry for your loss, Barbara
After more than two and a half years (January of 2015), I still feel (and at the same time feel the absence of) the particular way my Arab gelding would press his nose into the palm of my hand. And the sidelong glance out of the corner of his eye when he thought he could just touch me with the edges of his teeth, just a corner, for sport, without my noticing. Every day. I’m grateful. How lucky we are to feel all of it, even the ache, don’t you think? You captured it perfectly.
We are the very luckiest ones. Best wishes, Tracey.
After more than two and a half years (January of 2015), I still feel (and at the same time feel the absence of) the particular way my Arab gelding would press his nose into the palm of my hand. And the sidelong glance out of the corner of his eye when he thought he could just touch me with the edges of his teeth, just a corner, for sport, without my noticing. Every day. I’m grateful. How lucky we are to feel all of it, even the ache, don’t you think? You captured it perfectly.
My special boy died in June. We were together for 18 wonderful years. His death was unexpected, and the shock still hits me several times a day…I won’t see him or touch him ever again. I catch myself looking for him in the pasture through the trees…he used to doze beside a certain tree, and now I find myself looking there hoping to see him. Missing him is now part of my life…thank you for your posts…I don’t feel alone knowing that so many other people have experienced this same sort of loss.
So sorry, Barb. And yes, there are lots of us.
It will be 15 years December 5th about 8:30am. Havent visited his grave in almost 3 years – so hard to walk thru the barn & see another horse in HIS stall. I miss horses – their smell, feel – the munching – but most of all, I miss HIM. He was with me for 12 years – not near long enough. And yeah, don’t feel alone because I know we all know this loss. I always sort of assumed that I would get another horse if I lost him – but I guess I really didn’t believe that I would lose him. Obviously, over the years have “lost” many dogs, cats, ducks, etc., but just do not think about the eventual loss. I’m just so very grateful for all of them being with me & sharing their lives with me.
It’s always worth the pain. Thanks, Maggie.
It will be 15 years December 5th about 8:30am. Havent visited his grave in almost 3 years – so hard to walk thru the barn & see another horse in HIS stall. I miss horses – their smell, feel – the munching – but most of all, I miss HIM. He was with me for 12 years – not near long enough. And yeah, don’t feel alone because I know we all know this loss. I always sort of assumed that I would get another horse if I lost him – but I guess I really didn’t believe that I would lose him. Obviously, over the years have “lost” many dogs, cats, ducks, etc., but just do not think about the eventual loss. I’m just so very grateful for all of them being with me & sharing their lives with me.
Lovely
Thanks, Christine.
I boarded Pharaoh. He was an ex-racehorse. He always used to recognize my truck when I pulled up to the barn. How do I know you ask? Because he always peed when he saw me, ready for the ride I guess. Lol! I had him for 17 wonderful years and although I now have my Dooley, I will always miss my Pharaoh. He was such a character!
Thanks for sharing his memory, Lyn.
I boarded Pharaoh. He was an ex-racehorse. He always used to recognize my truck when I pulled up to the barn. How do I know you ask? Because he always peed when he saw me, ready for the ride I guess. Lol! I had him for 17 wonderful years and although I now have my Dooley, I will always miss my Pharaoh. He was such a character!
Thanks for sharing his memory, Lyn.
My mother, after having grieved many dogs in her lifetime, said in her elder years, “why would anyone have a dog ( or horse or cat or whatever) when you know that someday you will have to feel the loss and you KNOW that is how it’s going to end?” But she agreed with me that the joy outweighed the sorrow and would do it all over again .. Thank you Anna for keeping us ever mindful of the preciousness of time with our horses- so wonderful and yet so fleeting. Some Buddhist:” You have all the time you need and not a second to waste.”
Great sentiment about time, thanks Sarah.
❤️
🙂
I have loved and lost and lived to love again. Yes, it is bittersweet, but bittersweet is still pretty sweet.
Couldn’t agree more. Thanks, TK
I have loved and lost and lived to love again. Yes, it is bittersweet, but bittersweet is still pretty sweet.
Lovely, heartfelt. Thank you.
Thanks for reading, Mary Ann. I was so fortunate to know this horse.
Beautiful poem. I am so fortunate- Most people would likely not believe me but I have a special horse that I had in a previous lifetime, not my current lifetime. I found him in 2009 at a horse rescue in eastern Idaho, near where I lived and traveled in the previous life, and was stunned to figure out he’d been my horse before. I don’t know what happened to him in that lifetime. So, so happy to have him again. He’s old now and I will care for him until he crosses the Rainbow Bridge.
Maybe we all get a happy ending eventually?? I hope so. And whether anyone believes you or not, I’m happy for this old horse. Thanks Anpeytu, for this wonderful comment.
Beautiful poem. I am so fortunate- Most people would likely not believe me but I have a special horse that I had in a previous lifetime, not my current lifetime. I found him in 2009 at a horse rescue in eastern Idaho, near where I lived and traveled in the previous life, and was stunned to figure out he’d been my horse before. I don’t know what happened to him in that lifetime. So, so happy to have him again. He’s old now and I will care for him until he crosses the Rainbow Bridge.