Relaxed & Forward Blog

Nebulous Lameness. Nebulous Anxiety. And a List.

Your inner monster screams, "Just Kick Him!" but you don't. You aren't that person. You don't use spurs or whips....
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You Know I’m a Small Business, Right?

Do you like the writing I share? It's free, and it always will be. That's my gift to horses, hopefully....
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Do You Need to Keep Your Horse Calm?

I can't be the only woman of a certain age whose parents thought she needed to be muffled indefinitely. They...
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“Why Don’t You Post Training Videos?”

Photo by Ilona Gerou   It was at the dark ages of VHS, long before the...
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Helmet Safety and the Ability to Buy Hay

If my horses could see the big picture, they'd still say my job is hay. They have not read one...
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Leading Horses with Spatial Kindness. What?

The exercise was to halter your horse thoughtfully, asking the horse's permission for each step of the process, and acknowledging...
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When Impatience and Cruelty are Normalized

Sometimes I find myself standing in front of people talking about horses' feelings. I'm almost embarrassed; I was raised to...
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How to Stop Taking Your Horse Personally

Bhim is a one-of-a-kind, I surely hope. People might say he's still with me ten years after he came for...
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The Season of Letting Go

The autumnal equinox is about change. There's a miserable fog today, dense and so uncommon on my high prairie. Chilly...
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How to Attend a Clinic

Gray Mare memories: It was one of the first clinics I ever attended. The clinician was famous; I signed up...
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Being the “Good” Horse Isn’t Easy.

People want to tell me about their challenging horse, the quirky one, the scary one, the kill pen (scam) horse....
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Calming Signals: Thoughts About Spooking at Nothing

There are two kinds of spooking. This is the first: It was midmorning on the ranch, and we were riding...
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Reverse Anthropormophism: Building A Better Relationship

Do you ever go to the barn and pretend to be a cowboy? You'd wear the shirt that matched your...
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Calming Signals: What Normal Looks Like

Do you ever think about what horses give up in living with us? Humans have a way of always seeing...
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Are You Having a Midlife Horse Crisis?

I got an email from a reader last week. She had a hard question. She acknowledges she was naive, but...
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Horses Are Like Bad Boyfriends (Or Why the Wrong Answer Might Be Better)

Horses are like bad boyfriends because they only want to talk about themselves. Wait, let me explain. First of all,...
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Bit Contradictions: A Confused Conversation

"Slower, please." "Here we go." "Don't bang..." "Almost ready." "... my teeth." "Good..." "Not good." "Stand." "Let go." "Back up."...
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Is Your Horse Mentally Exhausted?

No other animal is quite like a horse; never fully wild and never quite domesticated. Engaged with us but never...
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