@finncara
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This is my first post here, and I’m not sure who will get more benefit from my writing: me or my horses. It’s so easy to forget that my strapping 17hh Hunter is actually timid, stoic, and totally without confidence. What I don’t forget is his gentle, honest soul and clever mind. I also tend to forget that we are all new to Cara still, that she doesn’t know that this is her home for life, no matter what, or that I will do everything I can to make sure she lives a life free of pain. Poor Mulberry gets the worst deal of all. Having learned that she’s not a huge fan of people, I try to leave her alone as much as possible so that she sometimes misses out on scratches and treats. Things I need to remember are that Finn needs me to be present in the moment, and confident that we can deal with any challenge. I need to remember that Cara needs me to slow down and breathe so she has time to think. Next I need to remember that even my stand offish little Exmoor mare appreciates a little attention every now and then, and that she’s actually the anchor which keeps my herd together.
Finally, I need to remember to try not to be self-critical, that’s quite a big part of my reason for writing here. I can look back and see if I made the right choice or not in all things horse related. I need to allow myself time to get back to riding as much as possible, and I need to try not to care about what others think of my anxiety. Unless the others are my horses. Then I still care.
I’ve been reading Anna’s blog and books for some years now; she has the ability to make me laugh, cry, and really think about my relationship with my horses. Two years ago I was lucky enough to attend a calming signals clinic with Anna. At the time I decided not to take my horse, it would have been a very long hot journey for him. I got so much from that clinic that I signed up to attend another in 2020; this time Finn was coming with me. Sadly the world turned upside down and inside out last year and the clinic didn’t happen. I’m here to learn how to be with my horses and have conversations with them.
Finn came to me direct from Ireland. He’s a strapping 17hh (mostly) Irish Draught. I guess everyone assumed he would be as brave as he is big, he’s not. He is terrified of sticks, ropes, farriers, and traffic, and extremely wary with men. As a hunt hireling I imagine he was ridden mostly by men and expected to jump anything and everything. He can still jump in a way that would put a spark in Nick Skelton’s eye and recently took himself on a hack into the village. Luckily no harm was done and he seems to have decided that a 7ft fence is just a bit too much. Parelli worries him enormously so we gave that up and embarked on a journey to a gentler more respectful way that brought us here.
Cara is my latest family member. She’s also from Ireland, but a much braver soul, although she’s had her issues: teeth like razors, old hoof abscesses growing out, a very sore back, and stiff hocks. Her back, teeth, feet, and tack are now as they should be and she is transitioning to barefoot like Finn and Mulberry. Cara has very clear ideas about how she should be treated and is happy to let me know when I get it wrong. Fortunately the biting and kicking are now only half-hearted threats. She’s 15.2hh and a glorious conker bay with a tiny white snip. She worked as an RDA horse for a while which partly explains her sore back and means I need to be the very best rider I can be.
Mulberry is my rescue pony. She’s a 12hh Exmoor pony with the attitude of a 17hh TB racehorse! Definitely herd boss! I had no intention of taking on a companion, but she was destined for dog food as she had outlived her usefulness as a companion to a weakling. She was grossly overweight; 450kg, and laminitic. She now weighs 175kg, is 25 years old and still gallops, bucks, and happily jumps the stream at the bottom of my main paddock. The laminitis seems to be a thing of the past (fingers crossed) and, although she’d never in a million years admit it, she seems pretty content with her life.
I’m an old grey mare with a hubby, two dogs – an Irish Setter and a Dobermann. We have two hens, Hattie and Betty, who keep us well supplied with eggs and have ducks and moorhens as ‘lodgers’ on our pond. My confidence has gradually eroded over the past few years and some discussions with an OTTB about riding that he won. I used to be happy to climb aboard any horse, but got to the point where even my old Highland Pony could make me nervous. I’m building my confidence slowly and carefully.