The Marlboro Man Isn’t My Type.

The Marlboro Man isn’t for me.  He’s the strong and silent type- it might be a romantic image on film, but it doesn’t look like much fun in real life. He probably eats an unhealthy amount of meat, that’s a given. A legendary smoker- no way would I let him in my barn. I doubt we would share the same taste in horses, (or anything else.) A hug from the Marlboro Man would feel like carrying an arm load of sticks and cans- way too boney for my taste.

And wouldn’t the Marlboro Man be looking at me squinty-eyed all the time? Nope, he’s not for me.

Give me a Dude Rancher. Well, that’s what he calls himself.

He has a pair of Justin Ropers that he wore to our wedding. It’s years later and they still look brand new. He has a western shirt, flannel with an insulated lining- he calls it his house coat. The Dude Rancher drives a Subaru.

He saw a photo of me before we met and complimented my smile. It was a photo of me with a horse over my shoulder. I told him it was truth in advertising, there usually was a horse over my shoulder. The Dude Rancher probably didn’t believe me.

The first year he lived at Infinity Farm, I think he pretended that there were no buildings north of the house. You know what’s on the north side, don’t you? The Dude Rancher never had a dream to live with a crowd of animals in a little house on the prairie. His family thinks he’s lost it.

Still, he eventually became a member of our herd. The dogs are even starting to listen to him.

He never offers to throw hay during blizzards but the Dude Rancher always asks if everybody is okay out there.

The Dude Rancher is handy with a hammer.  He has built hay storage onto the barn and some great furniture. I’m glad he isn’t wasting away, watching sports on TV while I am in the barn.

I don’t mean to spark envy here, but the Dude Rancher does occasionally muck … on weekends… if it’s warm outside… if there’s not much going on… and it’s too early for a nap. I notice that he does lose time scratching donkey ears and whispering to a certain bay mare.

Horses will never be a passion in the Dude Rancher’s heart, but he shows the remarkable good sense to not be jealous of them. Men who complain about the amount of time or money women spend in the barn are just looking for trouble.

I know horse friends have who have found a positive version of a Marlboro Man, someone who shares horses and riding with them. Congratulations and much happiness.

Some of us prefer our men not in the barn too much. It’s the Dude Rancher for me. If Geek Chic is the new cool, then he is at the very top of the list. Let your freak flag fly, Dude Rancher- glad to have you in the herd!

The Dude Rancher and the Marlboro Man do have one thing in common- I wouldn’t expect a grandiose gesture on Valentines Day from either. They leave that to our horses.

Anna Blake, Infinity Farm.

This blog is free, and it always will be. Free to read, but also free of ads because I turn away sponsorships and pay to keep ads off my site. I like to read a clean page and think you do too. If you appreciate the work I do, or if your horse does, consider making a donation.

Anna Blake

7 thoughts on “The Marlboro Man Isn’t My Type.”

  1. Yep, you bagged one of the good ones. I think I’ll try calling mine “dude rancher” and see if he responds! (Love the ?hammock)

  2. You’ve got yourself a “real” man. Kudos!! I’m pretty lucky as well. Took a few tries (sigh), but it was worth the troubles. Thanks for the great read!

  3. Great post and tribute to your Dude Rancher. He looks very busy supervising something from that hammock.

    I’m married to a Dude Rancher too, but he calls himself “the barn manager”. He likes having horses around, but has no desire to ride one. It would be nice if he could accompany me on trail rides, but honestly, I’d worry about him too much atop a horse. I’m happy, and grateful, that he carries hay bales down from the loft for me, scoops manure once in awhile, clears a path to the barn for me after a heavy snowstorm, climbs really tall ladders to change light bulbs above the stalls, removes lids from supplement buckets that I can’t even pry off with a hay hook, and helps hitch and unhitch the trailer…will even scoop the manure out of it while I’m putting Misty away. Three cheers for all the Dude Ranchers out there. Great post Anna.

  4. Dude Ranchers are the best! Have to admit, every now and again I can get mine on a horse and he does like playing and interacting with them.. Yep we got ourselves some good ones… imagine if we could clone them… we could have that indoor riding arena :o)


Leave a Comment