It’s January first. The calendar has flipped over and I’m happy with the new numbers. New Year’s is an excellent holiday if you like fresh starts and I certainly do. Like most horse people, I’m a perfectionist, and besides, there is always something on a list I didn’t get done. I know a change on a calendar is only a line in the snow. It’s the same world it was twenty-four hours ago. It’s just our habit on this special day, to lift our eyes to the months to come.
All our horses are a year older today, for purposes of record-keeping and vet calls. The youngsters are closer to being started and they fill us with hope for the future if we can manage the rest. And the elders clock one more year to a total that comes with a bit of anticipatory grief. Horses don’t live as long as we do, something we will never make peace with. The midlife horses hold us up. Nothing less. We’re famous for getting their age wrong because we want time to stand still; our time with them right now to just stay in place. We aren’t any more fond of change than horses are.
In the years I boarded, I’d shower and rush out to the barn just as my geldings got their breakfast. Usually too cold to ride, it was just to check in, stick the end of my nose in their manes, and be warmed by confirming their existence. That the barn was still standing. For all the chaos in my life, if I could rest a hand on a horse, I’d get through it.
I’m decades on the farm now and not much has changed. I don’t shower first anymore. I tuck my pajama pants into my muck boots, grab the heavy barn coat and a few hats, so I can drag a cart through the snow and tie up fresh hay bags. It’s the chore none of us ever tire of doing. I keep an eye on my feet; the ground is frozen hard, and you can take a tumble on a pile of manure if you’re not careful. Horse people of a certain age admit that they don’t bounce as well as they used to, and that applies to getting bucked off our own feet, too. Seems our horses aren’t the only ones a year older. But a pause to look east, my breath coming out as steam, while the sky colors itself pink and yellow waiting for the sun. This precious life…
Every time I write about what horse people are like, as I did last week, I hear from you, dear readers, and there are high fives all around. Okay, not high fives because we’re introverts. Not your entry-level introvert, either. We are isolationist introverts who think no one else feels like we do. So, some readers comment in wonder that I can describe us so well. Maybe you haven’t read my memoir? It’s true our families and co-workers think we’re nuts. We may not watch much TV because our lives are reality shows already. And we may listen to the weather reports more than talk shows, but we are not so buried in a haystack that we don’t know we’re fringe-dwellers. We have no regrets. Horses make sure we’re used to embarrassment and laughing at ourselves, even as we’re proud of the impracticability of “owning” them.
A few weeks back, we were having a conversation at the Barn School about aging with horses. We shared hacks to make the work easier, a rare nod to our mortality. It’s stuck with me. I’m tough as a goat. Like you, I’m stubborn and I won’t quit as a matter of pride. My first sentence uttered as a child was, “I’ll do it myself” and it would be fine with me to be buried out behind the barn. But there is a new word in our vernacular about farming: Sustainability. We protect our pastures like treasure but what about ourselves?
So, there I was, breathing my way into my restorative yoga practice on Zoom. I may be a horse person but I’m not a neanderthal. Besides, Covid-19 made me an online horse trainer, having yoga this way made sense. We were breathing and my lists were beginning to fade. My yoga teacher suggested setting an internal intention for our session. I confess, sometimes I pick a thing I’m angry about, just make peace with my feelings, but this time I wasn’t quelling a rant. I was so exhausted; 2020 felt like being dragged behind a truck. I put a good spin on it, but the weight of the year landed in that exhale and a word rose in front of me: Ease.
It surprised me, of course. I’m a horse person. We don’t think that way; it wasn’t my word. It might have been a message from my long-departed Grandfather Horse. He’d pick a time like this; it wasn’t always easy to get a word in edgewise with me. I considered this odd word, remembering that the turning point in our years together was when I stopped pushing so hard. Ease. The Grandfather Horse had a way of looking at you when you figured out something obvious to him. It wasn’t entirely kind, but we were in it for the long run, he held the hope that he could bring me around, and he eventually succeeded. Maybe it was his word. Ease.
The week before, I’d bought an ATV. It’s the first motorized help I’ve had on the farm. I wanted one decades ago when I was hand-raking thirty-five tons of sand in the arena. As one does. No one knows how many tons of manure I’ve pulled in my muck cart, snow or drought. Instead, I spent the vast fortune I made training horses on necessities like fostering rescues. It was common sense to me because doing things the hardest way possible is the only way I know. The ATV salesperson talked about riding motorcycles his whole life, and for a moment I remembered mine, but then I said, “Tell me, what is the challenge of riding something with an ignition?” He laughed and right away, asked if I had horses. Yes, I’ll be using this pretty blue trike, staying in low gear, to haul manure. With ease, now that I think about it.
So that’s my word for 2021. A word that goes against my nature, but I’ll give it a try. Like most things horses have taught me, it will involve a change in me. Maybe it’s time to make peace with the world outside my own barn.
Thanks for reading along with me these last eleven years, but especially this challenging one, 2020. Writing is nothing without readers, and your comments back have lifted me up. I appreciate your valuable time. Along with my gratitude, you can guess my wish for you all in the New Year: Ease.
…Anna Blake for Relaxed & Forward
The Relaxed & Forward Barn School* offers small group, online courses taught by Anna, and using your own horse.
Classes starting soon include:
- Equine Calming Signals
- Affirmative Training
- Living the Question: “Independent Study with Friends.”
- Back in the Saddle: A Comeback Conversation
- Authentic Dressage: Fundamentals for every horse.
- Human Calming Signals: What horses see in us.
Join us at The Barn School and stick around for “Happy Hour.
*Recommended by horses who like to work from home.
…Affirmative training is the fine art of saying yes.
Ease! Thank you for the word. Because an introverted horse woman’s ease is many people’s hard working day!
Truth, Max. Wishing you best in the New Year.
What an absolutely evocative word. We try so hard when if we take a moment for a small breath, there is ease in movement, in wearing our clothes and living in our own skin, in human interactions, and best of all with the animals in our life. What a wonderful reminder of what may be. Let the noise go and be at ease. Thank you for a wonderful reminder as we begin this new year. Nothing in the world has changed but i can be/ have a mental ease button
Thanks, Jo Ann. Best wishes.
As always, you read my mind and how I’m feeling. Thank you, Anna, for sharing and making this journey not so hard as it would be if I was alone. You’ve managed to bring me friends from all over the world and it made this past year more bearable. Now we look forward to continuing to grow and communicate with our horses and friends. Happy New Year!
Thanks, Linda. But that’s how I feel about you! The classes this year have been such a salve to me.
So glad your Grandfather Horse sent you that word! Because you’re right, one can be at ease and still take care of everything that needs it, maybe even better. For me, ease means letting up on that relentless requirement that more is always needed no matter how much you do. It means learning from mistakes that I couldn’t help but make, without shame that I didn’t already know what I just had learned! And we will ease our way down this road, joyful that we are on it.
Thanks, Susan. It’s a bumpy road, but it’s ours.
Before your message, I was just reading my posts for the community of solopreneurs I mentor, and ran across my post for earlier this year as the pandemic took hold. One was about two words: “nimble,” to guide our essential flexibility, and “yield” to release what is beyond influence. As the year unfolded, my advice morphed to “seek ease in all things.” I couldn’t say, “seek easy,” because we overachievers are hard wired for conflating effort with reward (a myth worth busting wide open, I will add.)
The word eeeeeease indeed has a built in exhale where tension flows out with the air. I verbalize the word “easy” for my horses (and me) to get that release when either of us needs the reminder to settle down.
Amen, Dodie, says this horse person who had to totally reinvent her work so she could buy hay. Best Nimble New Year!
Beautifully written . And so much truth. I can relate so well. Thank you for putting into words what I never seem to be able to. Happy new year.
Thanks, Vicki.
Sassy my kitten (can’t post the pic) says « Groot « … siighhh… she’s in her Guardians of the Galaxy phase… again… I think she means:
The colours of the ?
So pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces
Of people going by
I see friends shaking hands
Saying, « How do you do? »
They’re really sayin
« I love you »
And I think to myself
What a wonderful ?… Thank you Satchmo for a Wonderful ?
A wonderful 2?21 to all ye sisters of the Hoof… take care.
Lovely to have that rich voice of his in my ear, thanks Prita
Great blog for the new year Anna! I have over the years paired the word grace with the word ease. The word ease on the inhale creates the word grace on the exhale. The horses were the ones that brought me to this awareness. Wishing you a healthy, and abundant year of more blogs and books! Cheers!
I actually meant that the word grace on the inhale creates the word ease on the exhale…I had it backwards, however, I am with you all the way! LOL
Perfect words, either way. Best in the New Year, Cynthia
Anna Blake, you are the best! You help me to create calm in my “horse life” and all this only further helps the bond I am still working on with my 16 year old Tennessee Walker mare. She is a very sensitive and reactive lady, and much of the reading of your blogs has made such a difference that I can really feel with her, both riding and on the ground. Just a deep breath can make such a huge difference. Thank you for all the wisdom you share in your blog. Please keep doing what you are doing, and like this particular blog, we will just keep aging together with our wonderful horses!
Thank you, Sue. We’ll just keep doing what we do.
Ease, that is a good one. A friend suggested that instead of a resolutions we pick a word for the next year. Mine was resilience, but ease, hmm…
Those two words could just hold hands… Best to you and Bella this year.
Happy New Year Anna! Looking forward to your blogs this year. Finding you and The Barn School was one of the highlights of 2020. My horses agree, now that I exhale to give them ease..
Susanne, I always smile remembering you telling us about the look your gelding gave you after exhaling at the gate! Best to all of you in the New Year.
Oooh, love the line-up of topics. Hope to have a horse in this New Year (lost bith of mine to 2020)- or else I’ll go borrow one – as we must.
Sorry for your loss. So much has changed since we met early in the year. Best in the New Year.
Come visit Al! He’s going to learn to pull a cart this year!
I can’t wait! Go, Al!
I was hoping for a photo of that mechanized vehicle at the end of this ode to the new year. It’s diamond-encrusted, right? From the vast wealth you’ve accumulated as a horse trainer, right? Here’s to a year of manure-hauling ease, and yes, I mean that metaphorically, too.
Tehehehehehe. Thanks Linda.
Oh the sarcasm (irony) is knee-deep (in manure?)
“Come on and ease on down, ease on down the road
Don’t you carry nothin’ that might be a load
Come on ease on down, ease on down the road”
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=Ease+On+Down+Lyrics&ru=%2fvideos%2fsearch%3fq%3dEase%2bOn%2bDown%2bLyrics%26FORM%3dVDMHRS&view=detail&mid=8191DF892AC9C5C2E2708191DF892AC9C5C2E270&rvsmid=EC7B514EBC56C24FFE86EC7B514EBC56C24FFE86&FORM=VDRVRV
From The Wiz, 1978 musical.
Sometimes thoughts are so old, they’re new again.
Happy 2021 Everybody!
Yes! I was never that cool, but yes! Happy New Year, Lynell
EASE! Easy, easing, easier. Ease making, ease giving. Thank you for helping start my horse year off right.
I almost danced along with those words. Thanks for commenting, Sharon
Thank you. Your grandfather horse’s wisdom is exactly what I needed to hear today – to hold that ease in my mind with the 22 year old mare, with the husband, with me, with the rest of the world. Here’s to 2021!
Best wishes, Allison, thank you for commenting.
I’ll follow suit and adopt ease as a mantra for 2021. Taking pride in toughing it out is so 2020.
Just got in from spending several hours in the rain, repairing Orange Crush, the modified farmette tractor, (ancient junior sized Kubota mower with the deck removed.) So handy. Helps move hay, cart manure, drag fallen trees and tarps full of debris – makes life easier – all while nearly shaking the teeth out of your head.
Wishing a healthier, happier 2021 for you and the herd!
So very 2020! Great comment. Thanks, and save me from Orange Crush!
Good word! Goes well with my intention for this new year – peace. Not grand global peace but a start to peace in myself:)
Thank you as always for your writing!
That’s the best place to start, thanks Crystal
Ease. A most excellent word . Thanks for sharing it with us. As always you write with such wit and humor.
I must admit I am envious of your ATV. My little tractor ( lawn mower without the mowing deck) is one of my better $200 investments for moving and spreading manure.
Your Grandfather Horse is so wise, and glad he continues to instruct you now and then !!
I am thinking of my friend’s horse named Easy, who was anything but easy. …
Can we bring ease to all aspects of life ? I’m willing to try it out and glad to hear you are too. Why not ?
It’s better than the alternative and all my clenching in 2020 didn’t do any good. Yup, Sarah, ONWARD. Easy New Year.
Dear Anna:
I am not a horse person, (maybe once long ago in a previous life…), but in the last year I have been engaged in renovating a pole barn and outfitted it for the new equine occupants with the best facilities available; I have learned to love my new friends. After some time on the farm and a renovation of an old hay barn-workshop, I’ve had a chance to observe the horses as they observe me and have really developed a love for the animals. My perspective when I am around them is influenced by your words. I observe the horses as sensitive, emotional beings with a streak of mischievousness, and sometimes just plain old orneriness. Mostly though, I see in their eyes a world beyond my simple human world and a window to someplace I’d like to be.
I witness first hand the enduring love and devotion their caretakers give, and the untiring long hours devoted just to feeding, cleaning and hauling manure to the bin. Plus these people actually have day jobs.
Anyway, I just felt moved to communicate since your blogs really hit a soft spot in my heart. I’ll continue to look forward to your inspirational musings.
As for “ease”, It will be my angel card of the day.
Thanks for the great comment, and the kind words. Just disagree about one thing, you might be a horse person after all. Thanks, W
Anna, I am not really part of this group yet observe from the side lines. I relate to the doing things the hard way yet adapting to the weathered body. I still bring in my own hay, in the past built a small horse barn with a hammer, level and chainsaw. I seem to see a lot of horse people-women horse people who really aren’t that tough. Not really sure where I am going with this but thought I would pipe in!
Thanks for being there,
Rosemarie
Hi Rosemarie, and thanks for commenting. You’re right, but if they stick with horses, they will end up tougher soon enough.
Rosemarie: I admire you for your “toughness,” but sometimes being tough has its disadvantages when someone is unwilling to accept help from others. I also think that many of us who have our horses in boarding facilities because we have to still have a kind of toughness too. Maybe it’s more of a steadfastness or determination. I’m thinking of those who spend hours caring for a sick or hurt horse or who visit and attend to their horses every day no matter how they are feeling.
This is not meant as a criticism of what you said, just another perspective.
Maureen, that’s what I did was before I could get my farm. I loved boarding, working with trainers, having a good facility. I certainly rode more then. The women who boarded with me were committed and strong and my best friends.
Ease is a way of living that ought to be embraced. Not easy, but ease. And can I just comment on your “barn wear” of pyjamas tucked into to boots … my muck out attire at this time of year is undies with a singlet on top! Luckily we have really cool neighbours. 😉
Kim, summer in NZ is a dream to us in Colorado. But I say if they don’t like my underwear, they don’t have to look. Happy New Year!
This is a very good word to begin the new year with.
Thank you for helping lead the way.
Wishing you all the best.
Thanks, Deb. Wishing all of you in your multi-species family best wishes in the New Year.
Once again, you’ve said it all. Congrats on your new ATV. I bought myself a quad 2 years ago for myself on Mothers’ Day. Even after all the hints I dropped, it didn’t look like anyone else was going to get me one. Also bought a little trailer at Tractor Supply. Has made manure hauling and chores a lot quicker and easier on my old, soon to be 69 year old body. It’s fun and I haven’t run into the fences too many times. Happy New Year!
It’s getting through 4ft gates here, but Yay, we’re moving manure now! HNY, Christine
It brought to mind this old song by Eric Bogle, Now I’m Easy. We aren’t quite to that stage yet, but…..
I want to know what the goats think of the new machine?!
I pulled up beside the pen with goat, donkey, mare, and mini and no one looked twice. They’re a hard bunch to spook. HNY, Annie
I rescued two geldings this year from neglect and poor living conditions. Their owner was not mean and certainly didn’t want them in the condition they were, but age and illness had taken its toll on her. We must make plans for our horses. They will pay the price if we don’t.
These guys are in good condition now and are a source of great peace for me in this time. I turn 70 this year and am grateful to be able to do all my work. I am working on a plan though that will ensure they have a soft landing when I can no longer care properly for them. This last year has shown me the importance of not taking things for granted. I wish we could live forever and be happy with our horses…. but just in case.
So many times animals fall to neglect for similar reasons. Yes, we need a plan, all of us. Thanks twice, Diana
This is perfect. I managed to watch your zoom on Contact on New Year’s Day, in which you repeated that we should “just try a neck ring” enough times that it hooked me. Hooked me on the place I’d been wondering about, thanks to my Morgan mare April who cannot understand the “typed” messages I continually send her through my hands. Messages filled with so much effort and trying to do what’s right based on all the people and their books and their methods and their corrections of each other … and on and on. It has gotten unbearably painful. I gradually have gotten a new bridle with no buckles or bands, just one ear hole, and a wonderful soft bit and all that, but still. I want to let her face, and her mind have more freedom. Wondering why can’t she hear me?? So I tried the neck ring, with bridle,
which was there, but not engaged. After about 2 nanoseconds of confusion she softened, tuned in, became rhythmic and free moving. I softened, tuned in, and we moved together. Took the bridle off and put it on a post without dismounting. Ease. It was beautiful. And, then, afterwards on the ground, it was astonishing to feel every single cell in my body alive and somehow vibrating quietly. Ease is not exhaustion or surrender. Ease is alive, connected, full of energy. Who knew?
Want to scream I TOLD YOU SO, but that’s rude. Crazy how well it works, thanks for giving it a try. What a good mare. Thanks, Deb and HNY to you both.
HA! Right? Only took 3 books, many blog posts and … years. I guess we get there when we get there. She is a wonderful mare. And, really crazy how well it works. Who knew? (dodging book you just threw at me!)
Heheheheheheh!
Thank you. Another spot on article filled with food for thought.
thanks, Lynda.
Hurrah! You nailed it with this one Anna. Great word, not easily worn. You wear that great big overcoat of it. Xxx
Hi Sophia, hope you are well over in the Land-I-Miss. Thanks!
If I can get through 4ft. gates with a quad and trailer, I’m sure you can do it too. LOL! Have fun!
Well done as usual. This elicited a visceral response (EASE?!? what the hell is she peddling lol). But it’s pride talking, really. I’ve shoveled so many thousands of tons of gravel before I bought a tractor, hand mowed or weed whacked for years before the riding mower. In the early days it was lack of funds, but now its probably more stubborn pride. Been thinking it’s time to get a quad to haul hay to the top of the winter pasture rather than push the wheelbarrow up the long hill… this might have been the push I needed. You know what they say about pride after all 🙂
What is it with us doing it the hard way? Great comment, Shaste. (I didn’t give up an ounce of pride in living this way. )
Thank you again for a wise and insightful read. I tried using a neck ring last year; and did not give it enough of a chance. You have encouraged me to take stock and begin again.
Good, glad you’ll try again. Neckrings have a habit of not working right away, and then something shifts… good luck and thanks, Judy