No, I’m not dreaming of a career as a hand model. My hands have looked like an elderly mechanic’s since I was a Goldsmith in my 20s. Scars, big joints, and apparently, the drought here includes hand lotion. It’s just that they told me in the emergency room to keep an eye on my fingernails and if they turn purple, to let them know. The fiberglass splint goes all the way to my shoulder and is snug. My elbow is in limbo. I can’t see my fingers, so I took a picture.
I don’t want your sympathy; I want your right hand.
It seems I broke my wrist 8 hours ago and I’m sitting here waiting to hear when the pain meds at the pharmacy will be ready. Lacking those, I’ll use my words. Writing always helps.
First, know the horses are fine. No horse was even involved in this incident. Don’t ask. When people get hurt, they feel stupid enough without repeating the story. Enough said. The good news is that I asked the Dude Rancher to help me stand up and then take me to emergent care. None of us is good at asking for help, but excruciating pain makes me remarkably reasonable.
The break in my glasses was much worse than my wrist. I’m not complaining about the swollen eyebrow or green skin because it matches my eyes and it’s the closest thing to eye shadow I’ve had on in 40 years.
It will come as a surprise to no one that I knew how to read the X-ray. I’ve never seen one this bad for any of my horses, so that’s something. It’s a compound fracture visible in two directions but not as bad as Arthur, the goat’s x-ray after the Grandfather Horse parked on his leg. Naturally, my X-ray also showed a previously broken bone in my wrist. I have no idea when or how that happened but the doctor showed no surprise. It wasn’t his first rodeo, either.
I’ve got a few days to keep my arm elevated before going to the ortho to find out if I need surgery or if they can manipulate the bones back in place. Either option makes me wanna puke. I thought about asking the nurses today to pour a swig of whiskey down my gullet, stick a hunk of leather to put between my teeth, and snap the bone back on the spot, but the nurses didn’t look like the type.
Horsewomen are famous for gallows humor. We are witty as donkeys and then the next moment, sharing cookies with each other and cleaning sheaths while we chat.
Now what? I’d like to say I’m going to launch my new audiobook, but since being ghosted by Mark and exiled into cyberspace, I’m lost. Oh, the pain, the heartache, the long dull hours of hoping that it wasn’t true. He and I have been in a long-distance relationship since 2008. Yes, there is an age difference, but our affair wasn’t a secret. You knew our business. Well, you knew mine at least. Mark can be elusive.
I have been loyal when others, many others, have left him. For the last 1,353 Friday mornings, I have posted affirmative essays about horse training, reactive dogs, and women of a certain age. Standing against whiners, haters, and general buffoons, I’ve posted photos of pretty white horses, doing my best to offset the trash talk and unsavory photographs of beach vacations, fancy dinners, financial advisors, and other crazy notions. I have the stats and I have the words. Mark, wasn’t I good to you?
Back in February, a man half my age with dark hair and no horses in sight stole my identity on Facebook. How could anyone mistake him for me? That was when I got ghosted. No one there will talk to me.
About now, dear readers, some of you will claim the high moral ground and say that social media is the root of all evil in our culture. I don’t disagree. I also don’t know how to have a business small business without social media. So yes, I’ll beg.
But I don’t know if Mark and I will get back together again. I don’t know if I can trust him after he stole custody of all of you. Maybe it’s time to subscribe to this blog or to keep up with my writing, subscribe to my other blog. Then we can meet behind his back. Do I sound bitter? He’s keeping me from my friends, too. I’m searchin’ with a torch song, Mark, for you.
So, what will I do while on stall rest? After many requests, Stable Relation is available in audiobook form at all online sellers. I should throw a party on my FB author page, but Mark took those keys as well. Hear one hand clapping with mocking sarcasm.
And since I’m done with the first draft, now is a good as good a time as any to tell you I’ll have a new book out later this year and it’s entitled Undomesticated Women, Anecdotal Evidence from the Road. I’ve switched my mouse to a lefty and I can keep editing while I’m on ice. Another reason to not feel sorry for me. This new book is a travel memoir of my 13k-mile road trip last year. Mister, my dog, says it’s really all about him.
This brings us to now. For every Thursday night for the last 1,353 Thursday nights, I have stayed up late writing an essay. I do it when I’m at home or when I’m on the road. Sometimes I’m in other countries and other times I’m in my studio with a snoring pack of unimpressed literary dogs. Tonight, my right arm is under an ice pack, but as long as I have a finger to peck with, I will not be silenced!
I might have gotten carried away with the soundtrack, but thank you for reading along all these years. I know it’s setting the bar pretty low, but you’re more loyal than Zuckerberg ever was. As much as I wish it was true, this isn’t the pain meds talking. I am wildly grateful to each of you. Maybe he was jealous, we’ve had some great times together. Thanks for lucky 13!
So, come hell or high water, it is the 1,354th consecutive Friday morning, and I may be jilted and horribly self-indulgent, but you know what happens when we get bucked off…
…
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Anna Blake, Relaxed & Forward
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Affirmative training is the fine art of saying yes.
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OMG Anna! You’re getting too old to be hurting yourself! (or maybe you’re hurting yourself because you’re getting too old?!). I feel for your pain, and I know the broken wrist and bruised face aren’t the only things that will be hurting this morning. I was recently thrown out of my new (to me) horse trailer, which sits impressive high off the ground, by the new memory foam mattress I was trying to put up into the gooseneck. It would have been funny if I hadn’t had the wind knocked out of me and bruised my side and ribs so bad that even a week later it hurts to get in and out of bed, or sit in my car. Who needs horses to cause an accident? All I can say is, I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and showed that mattress who’s boss. As I know you are doing right now. Heal well, and quickly.
Had to chuckle. You showed that mattress! We are all that, thanks, Rebecca.
OMG when it rains, it pours.
Take best care of the left side, and don’t strain it, with the mouse. Don’t want carpel tunnel symptoms …
“Gallows humor” I know it. Oh Anna, better going into spring than winter, if there is a bright side.
I’ll find you wherever you land!
Thanks, Ellen. I landed flat!
It will take much more than a broken right wrist to buck you off, Anna. Here’s to good pain meds, good doctors and a speedy recovery!
Thank you!
You should have asked the x-ray tech to snap it back in place, we love doin that!! Just as I was starting to feel blue about stuff you show up and make me feel better! Thank you, sending healing vibes your way
I felt better, too. We’ll get through. Thanks, Sue
wow, and I thought I was the only one! I have hit the dirt three times in the last three days. Maybe today will be better. Tues. I did a face plant when my leg caught a piece of rebar that I had shifted on the bottom shelf of a shelf near by. That was #1. So later that same day, taking a short cut, after checking a horses water, caught my left toe on some metal and hit the inside of my left knee on something. Ouch!! I wanted to cry. Then yesterday taking another short cut across a planter box, I caught my left toe on the edge and did another face plant on the blacktop. I guess the world is telling me, don’t take short cuts as I need my steps, and watch out for that left toe. We all learn in the strangest ways just like the horses.
I was thinking my piaffe needed some lift! Take care!
You have my sympathy even if you don’t want it. Maybe you’d like this better: In my head I see you baked your hands into a mighty fist and giving Mark the shiner of his life. Too bad his bony little orbit broke your hand.
I thought of you while picking the soundtrack. Once I get the cast we’ll see how the punch works.
Uh, autocorrect is sneaky. Ball your hand.
OH Anna, I am SO sorry to hear this! I broke my wrist over a decade ago in ballet class doing a petit allegro and coming down from a tricky jump move onto ‘the’ slippery spot on the floor which I had just been warned to avoid! Go figure. Fortunately I had only had coffee that morning so when I went to the ER, they were able to do surgery (need an empty stomach). And, of course, it was my right hand…yes, also right-handed. I had metal put in since it would make it more stable. You may be able to get away with no surgery but you will have to keep it very stable (not as in horse). On another subject…since I get your emails every Friday, I assume I am signed up. Can you get back on FB with another ID…I hate not being able to communicate with you on that platform as it was so convenient. Things will get better. Take care, my dear Anna!!
Facebook has brought so many wonderful people into my life, like you! I miss it. Good to hear from you, I’m trying to get back! Thanks, Verna
Anna,
I’m so sorry to read this! We just don’t bounce like we used to. I can identify with your embarrassment and discomfort. Recently I took a fall while hand walking my horse. I got a med flight to Colorado Springs and a 3 day stay in an area hospital. Not an exciting accident caused by reckless riding, being chased by bear or lion, no just a simple darn fall that took 5 months to recover. Gosh, I hate getting older! Heal fast my friend and if you want a soak in the “healing water” of a Pagosa spring, a warm dinner and a soft bed I would love to have you visit.
Thanks, and yes, those dramatic injuries, those were the good old days!
You GO, Girl!
Thanks! Care for some lemonade?
Since it is the 111th day of January here in the Upper MidWest, I wouldn’t mind sharing a cup of cocoa with a chaser later in the day! It took over 1 1/2 years to regain full usage of my shoulders AFTER repairs…and I only had to contend with a stick-shift car! I can only imagine the frustration of having to work around horse/donkey/mule/dog/typing tasks! UGH! I send nothing but awe and wonder as to what you continue to accomplish!
So sorry about your wrist. I broke my left one twice, so I feel your pain. But breaking the right (if you’re a righty) is really bad. Hang in there and breathe!
Thanks, breathing is my strong suit.
Dear Anna,
Because you have done and will do hard many more hard things, you can do this.
Ten years ago in May, I broke my leg. Well, my horse’s back leg broke it but my stupidity and lack of trust in my horse was the true cause. I like to tell people right away that “I didn’t fall off” like it is a badge of honour. Truth is getting dumped by a weary plough horse/pet would have had more dignity than what I did. Suffice it to say I was leading my trusting beautiful horse – my “I turned 40; I have no kids but I have a good job I can have a horse again ” sweet pony. I was about a mile from home, just we two & no cell phone. I lead him over wire. It was buried but not enough. He knew. I didn’t listen. There: I admit it. He knew. It wasn’t any accident. It was my GD fault. Could have cost him his life. When he got caught he got scared and reared, caught his front around his hoof. I freaked out (no soft soaping you Ms Blake). He ran over me and my ride leg got under his back hoof. He was bleeding a bit – not much but I felt like it was a torrent.
I tried to get up all I could think was to lead him home the shortest way possible. I soon realised that I couldn’t walk. “Sorry boy but I’m going have to get on”. And so I did. A mile home down to our Valley. Riding in the yard hollering for a hose and for my mom to call the vet.
With luck, a good vet came from a neighbouring town. My partner came from out the city where we were still living then. A quick bit of fencing made a small recovery pen. I stood alternating the hose between our legs and it became clear who had gotten the worst of it. His leg was treated and bandaged. Mine swelled to twice its size. The vet said “you better go to the hospital.” The a second time: “No: really.” My reply was:” Not till the fence is done and I know he’s gonna be ok”. I was not brave. I was desperate and pleading inside ….please don’t let my pony die. Please don’t let me be the cause of his crippling.
I’ll do anything…
I was sure my leg was just a bad sprain. My partner said we had to go to hospital. He convinced me to go by pointing out the barbed wire scratches on my back and arms. Tricked me into realising I needed a Tetnus shot.
Within two hours of the stupidest thing I have done (to date) I was in hospital where I could still bend my friggin’ knee though it was swelling like a balloon….X-rays showed the tibia was shattered. I was scared and disbelieving and was told without surgery I would have a bad limp, arthritis and pain. I ended up with 9 pins, a plate and bone filler and my leg modeling career has never recovered. My pony did and so did I. He healed much faster than me but within six weeks I was back on that beautiful, kind and trusting horse. I thank my lucky stars all the time: it could have been my neck and his life.
It took me many years until I trusted myself again. Finding you and your work has sure helped.
Heal fast and well dear friend.
Jackie
Thanks, Jackie. we are tough old hens.
Lucky stars is right! That could have been so much worse (as you know).
All the time I had with horses – did so many stupid things & somehow they & I came thru it ok. Luck!! And after finding Anna, I bet you “breathe”!
You are a force, Anna. And a modern-day pioneer to step off the edge of the earth where Facebook ends. Or maybe to be pushed there by a thief, but still.
Thanks, sometimes the win is to not quit?
Oh dear! How I feel ya! You’ve got a long road ahead so get good with your left hand! I broke my right wrist on vacation in the Caribbean after a lovely ride on the beach. I did not fall off. I tripped in the yard and was kicked in the butt on the way down for good measure by a feisty gelding as I was walking away after cooing at him and petting him. The nerve! My wrist was reset by a wonderful St Maarten doctor and my husband and I finished our week in the sun. Came home to run a yoga studio business and teach one handed. I got good with my left hand. A word of advice —once you get your cast off, you must be stubbornly diligent about your physical therapy until you get your strength and movement back. As a writer, you’ll certainly make stories from this.
Looking out at snow, you picked a good location…physical therapy is a hellish miracle, isn’t it? I can’t wait! Thanks, Fay
From my experience, the toughest part of healing is holding back from overdoing it, once you feel even a little bit better. I think Bhim can help you with that❤️
I know I learned a lot from my broken hip!
I’m curious about what this means with Bhim… he is at a good lace and itchy, so we can go on, because of the bucket. And I too know the over-do DON’T… at least I’m that trainable. thanks, Susan
Heal fast, Anna — you are a very strong woman and I know you’ll come through this shining, as you always do.
Edgar Rice Burro will watch out for you and you have the excellent company of your horses.
Can your rancher friend just keep an eye on you until you are on a more even keel? Someone close to call?
Concentrate on the book and ‘rock on’ as we say in Britain.
Love, and healing,
Nuala
Thanks, Nuala. I’m lucky to have good help.
Anna,
Like many of your friends, here, if I lived closer, I’d be driving over with my tea basket (and plenty of good cheese and biscuits). I hope the pain medications keep things bearable. As you teach, you’ll have to be patient with the healing.
We are not often patient with ourselves.
In the meantime, as you edit your new book and prepare for publication, we are all driving (or riding or walking) along with you on the road — it is a long cavalcade of horses, donkeys, dogs, and vehicles…and you can’t see the end of the line.
(You can probably hear the noise, though.)
Captain, Jack, Simon, Tico and newly adopted white donkey, little Nader, all sent their love and healing.
Love, Nuala x o
p.s. Don’t forget to take in a comedy now and then; laughter heals, even if it hurts to laugh… We are thinking of you.
thank you, Nuala.
Grateful for you edifying us and keeping entertained (or slightly weepy) all these Friday’s. Healing vibes and donkey brats heading your way
Brays! Not brats. Jesus autocorrect!
Got a chuckle over those bratty donkeys!
Thanks, Kate. A laying on of long ears would cure anything!
I love the idea of donkey brats!
I admire your grit and tenacity!
Thank you, June. I know you have the same.
Brays! Not brats. Jesus autocorrect!
brats? that works, too.
Reading your post and the comments here – BOY have I been lucky lucky lucky all through the horse part of my life and beyond! Of course – fell off many times – fell on 3 times (never hurt!) – now have the whole broken bone thing in the back of my mind (85!).
So sorry about whatever you had to accomplish to do that to yourself – sounds really hurtful. Its only been a couple hours since this came up on my email so I hope ;by now you have managed to get pain meds. This sounds PAINFUL!
The whole Facebook thing? Sorry I’m far from being a fan – everyone around me (family etc) uses it a lot. But when your business & life is on it & some jerkoff steals your info – that sucks.
Good luck with meds, book, animal care & all that.
Thanks, Maggie. We got the meds in time before bed last night!
All this going on in realtime with you while I was binge watching NOT boring videos of Bhim and your shadow in the wee hours of this morning!
My wish for you: May the healing gods keep vigil til their healing job is done.
Thanks. Bhim and I talked it over and he says he likes me better with one hand, so on we go.
We LOVE you, Anna. You are such a strong woman and an inspiration.
Please heal quickly.
Happy to, thanks!
So happy to have you here, Anna. Maybe Mark stole your FB identity but he’ll not steal you away from us! Take care-hope your wrist heals well.
I’m pretty hard to lose. Thanks, Susan
I’m so very sorry, Anna. It has been a rough week. We lost Ember this week to colic. Bones heal. Hearts heal. It just hurts a lot.
Sending you best wishes for swift healing.
So sorry for your loss – yeah hearts heal but they dont forget!
Sorry for your loss of Ember. Sending best wishes to you, too, for a maybe not-so-swift healing.
I just found this. Sosorry, I remember that good horse, I’ll miss her with you. What a year. Take care, my friend.
My heart-felt sympathy for your loss Kaylene. Healing hearts – they forever bear the scars and the pain becomes bearable.
Well Anna, I am currently rehabbing a left shoulder that I cracked when I slipped on some water on our tile floor that I was cleaning up. The piece broken off didn’t move so I didn’t need surgery, just immobilization. But now I’m trying to get my motion and strength back. Manuel laughed when I told him and said he’s seen me so many times dealing with my misbehaving Chico and now I get bucked off by my kitchen floor. Yes I felt stupid, but that’s a defense mechanism: if it’s your fault then you can prevent it next time. And the truth is, these things just happen. Sorry this happened to you. Hope you heal quickly. Ice helps. Thank you for continuing to write.
We’ll heal together. It’s funny, I think kitchens are very dangerous. To be avoided at all costs! Here’s hoping no surgery for me either
Oh, Anna. A broken wrist, and most especially your right one, truly sucks. That on top of the ghosting/ stolen identity is much to endure. But happy.to see you are retaining your sense of humor and keen wit. Equally impressive is the 1354 Friday post.
Take extra good care of yourself now. Wish you were in our area as we in Earthtribe are blessed with a top rated ( 5th in the USA) orthopedist. I cant even imagine how you will get chores done. Sending healing energy your way….
Thanks, Sarah. It did cheer me up to write this. It’s been quite a year but it beats the alternative. And I have good help, it’ll be okay eventually.
I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been hurt. Please let us know when your new book is released I must have it! Take care and best wishes for a speedy recovery.
Thank you. I’ll yack all over when the book comes out.
Ouch! So sorry to learn of your mishap. But your writing is, as always, inspiring as I sit here listening to Vivaldi’s Gloria. I hope your healing is quick, though broken wrists are not famous for that. Know that we are all praying for you and send hugs.
Thank you. Patience with horses is so much easier.
There was a bear… I swung with my right and he blocked it… but my left caught him hard! Look around… see a bear?! I rest my case!
yikes! I WITH MY LUCK, A BEAR WOULD HAVE TRIPPED AND FELL ON ME!
I don’t know about snapping your bones back into place, but if I lived a little closer I’d definitely bring you some whiskey. Take good care.
Thanks, Kate! I just keep playing your song.
Well Dang , this just sucks Easter eggs!!!
If I had a teleport I would have sent pain meds, David has a whole bunch. Then you could have sent
the pie to me.
Hope you have the extra hands to help. No pun intended.
if you had a teleport, we could do a world pie tour! lots of help but spilling lots of food…thanks, Kim
I am so sorry. Elbow injuries are awful! Tough recovery and rehab! Keep that finger tapping away, keep taking pain meds! no heroics, please!
no heroics from me. thanks, Neide
Love to you, Anna❣️
And damn, I’m sorry 😢 about all this “stuff” and thank you for hanging in there. Your weekly blog means a lot to me & can’t wait for your new book😃
thank you, Barbara, for reading the books. I’m trying to reframe this into a writing vacation.
Don’t cut your cast off. Not even if you’re in a bind and REALLY need to do something with that right hand. Don’t ask me how I know. OK, I’ll confess. I broke my wrist in five places, cut the cast off at 3 weeks, (so I could trim the goat’s feet), then broke it again in three places at 5 weeks. And yes, the same Ortho doc that saw me in the ER the first time was also on call the second time. He didn’t mince his words. He also made sure the second cast went up to my armpit instead of my elbow. (But I did cut the top part of the second cast off at 4 weeks.) Here’s hoping you are a much better patient than I ever was, and that you heal well and fast.
You are a cautionary tale! Thanks for the advice, Cheryl I ache enough on a good day!
I miss your presence on FB very much. I’m thrilled about the audio book and hope you heal quickly! Subscribed to the blog because you’re worth a few extra clicks and much more.
Thank you, Wendy,for the kind words.
Dear Anna,
So sorry about your wrist,,heal quickly, keep the gallows humor ( 40 years in medicine has refined mine) & I can’t wait to read your new book,,I have all you have written!!
Thank you, Eileen, for giving the books a chance. I’m intrigued with refined medical gallows humor. My head spins at the thought….
My dear brave friend, I am so sorry for your injury and the prospect of surgery ahead. If I could come to Colorado to take on chores for you I would. I look forward to finding the audio book and listening again to your sage words, then reading the new one when it comes out.
Take care and know that your friends are definitely still here and are helping to spread your words.
Sheri
thanks, Sheri. No worries, I have lots of help.
hey thats a drag….a painful drag…… poor you !! hope they can get it sorted as painlessly as possible. look forward to Misters book!
i fell over last week and went down on my wrist and then tripped up stairs 4 days later onto same wrist and counting myself lucky it is not broke. (not bragging, just counting blessings) I was walking dogs both times. of course.
I hope you get plenty of help and you heal soon.
find a way to have that
swig of whisky anyways
people tell me there’s a lot of this going around… ick! thanks, Chris. Stay right side up.
ha i should have kept quiet. now so in a splint. apparently i may have fractured a bone that you cant see on x rays. of course i have.
hope the op goes well an you recover quickly
Lucky fracture, if that’s possible. Lets both heal quickly!
Spoken with the grit of a true horsewoman… hang tough and feel better soon!
Thanks, Nancy.
We all know you will weather this storm! You must be super annoyed by this inconvenience :-
Take care of yourself…. It’s ok to ask for help… when you really need it :))
Hi Annette, good to hear from you! thanks. this morning the plans that will need changing are settling on me. dang, again.
Wow, just wow…little late to this party, but I’m here,and so is everyone else. F*”** Mark
Mark giveth and Mark taketh away…. thanks,Holly
Sending all good wishes for a supernaturally quick recovery.
One thousand three hundred and fifty four!!!!
“as long as I have a finger to peck with, I will not be silenced!”
I am dazzled by people who can turn their pain into other people’s laughter.
Looking forward to the new book. Great title!
Thanks Kate. supernatural would be great!
My dear buddy – I hope you heal well and quickly! Much love to you!
Barb
Thank you, my friend… WHAT A YEAR!
I have found that Marks are not to be trusted.
Yay new book!!!!
💗🐎
WE HAVE A LOVE/HATE THING.
Anna, I would lend you my right hand, but you wouldn’t want it. My once powerful but unsightly hand is now crippled with arthritis between thumb and wrist. It is an Olympic challenge to unscrew the milk carton in the morning. If only knobby knuckles, tissue paper finger nails, and skin that resembles that shed from a snake were in style, I could make a bundle as a hand model.
Thanks for your tenacity with #1354; you are my hero!
WE USE THEM. i hope there’s a dirty nail somewhere, too