Balancing Energy with a Horse

Is your horse lazy? Lazy is a name we call horses when we want to denigrate them by comparing them to humans. That must be it because laziness is a human quality. I’ve never seen a lazy horse; no image comes to mind. The word has a meanness about it, an insult meant to shame. “You lazy no-good….” The words just go together.

So, I looked it up. These are the first five synonyms of lazy in the dictionary: apathetic, lethargic, dull, inattentive, and indifferent. Those words are not mean, they are signs of pain or illness. This is truly what I think first when people tell me their horse is lazy. Pain is the most logical reason for a flight animal to not want to go forward.

This is a kind reminder that many “training issues” are actually physical issues, so please make sure. Don’t guess, get your horse checked out, and the saddle fit. See if the horse changes when you ride in a neck ring and don’t use the bit. Easier, just give the horse time off. You aren’t letting your horse be lazy, you’re letting him heal, whether mentally or physically. Horses are not deceptive tricksters. Like laziness, that’s a human trait.

If after making sure your horse is sound, you still feel that your horse’s energy is lacking, consider the idea of creating an internal energy that could balance with your horse’s. Not that one of you is right or wrong, but just neutralizing emotion and looking for balance.

Sound horses who are energetically demonstrative are easier to counterbalance. Their anxiety is obvious, we can usually slow down and find the cause. Start by slowing our body, emphasizing our exhale. We can create a safe place for a horse to take a breath and relax. Horses look for that safety. It won’t happen all at once, but as your habit of breathing and slowing gets more consistent, the horse will follow.

Balancing energy with a stoic horse is more complicated. It isn’t a coincidence that they are the ones we think are lazy, but before we go there, what is your energy like? We can be loud when we don’t know it. Horses have such acute senses that a normal indoor voice can be rude. If we add a hurry to our request, the cue gets louder, and many horses are conflict-avoidant. Then the louder we get, the more shut down the horse becomes. We never intended to be intimidating, but for a horse’s size, it’s pretty easy to do.

But then stoic horses don’t like the opposite, bubbly giggles and bouncy energy. We can be alarming when we cackle and even abrasive in our rattling enthusiasm, any shy horse will tell you. It’s as if we embarrass them with our giddy humor. And we have those alarming high-pitched siren voices, sure to jangle the Zen.

Maybe you are the timid sort, not prone to peels of laughter or frustrated rants. Maybe you are even more still than a stoic horse, just watching quietly. Just observing the herd without saying a word. Kind of unnatural for a human, a horse might think, almost more like a coyote. And the stoic horse is stalking you back now, hiding his worry.

Or you have done it right, stood and waited for your horse to choose. You want to do the Affirmative Training thing, but honestly, it’s boring standing around waiting. You might even long for the days when a whip ended the stalemate. Your brows furrow like a used Kleenex, thinking for the money you spend, you deserve better. Being bored is simple on the surface, but there’s resentment just below. Ask any sullen teenager, especially the ones who are certain they’ve done nothing wrong.

Understand that a fair percentage of the “energetically demonstrative” horses started out being stoic but got anxious because of all the weird energy we have. Some of the more stoic horses got stressed out by us always trying to slow them down and calm them out of being spooky. It’s an unbalanced ball of twine, and it’s enough to make an already unbalanced (having horses puts us in that category) person take up needlepoint. Egad. Something has to give.

Start here: Give up trying to control your horse. It’s impossible. They can’t change their instincts to please us. Give your horse room to breathe and settle himself. Does that sound too simple? It will take the time it takes for a horse to self-soothe. Simple doesn’t mean easy. It requires patience to let a horse heal their issues and find confidence. The most we can do is stop distracting them by adding stress.

Look inside and instead of focusing on the things to not be, like intimidating, flapping, timid, or bored, let go of being wrong. It’s easy to blame yourself, but it isn’t helping. Our body language squeals on us, we reek of the past. So let it go with no more apologies. Put the knife down and have some chocolate. Stop looking for fault everywhere. It sounds idiotically simple. Want to know what’s so hard about being affirmative?

A horse’s survival instinct is to run, spook, and be aware of everything with a life-and-death focus. We know that, but did you know our instinct is similar? It’s called Negativity Bias meaning “Our tendency to pay more attention to bad things and overlook good things is likely a result of evolution. Earlier in human history, paying attention to bad, dangerous, and negative threats in the world was literally a matter of life and death. Those who were more attuned to danger and who paid more attention to the bad things around them were more likely to survive.”

You know what that means, right? We have our own sort of flight response; we spook and bolt in human ways. We are as fearful as horses, but we have enough self-awareness to make up stories (excuses) or blame the horse. If there is such a thing as human privilege, we could use it better. Our self-awareness gives us a choice in the middle of a panic that horses don’t have. We can choose a response in spite of our emotions. We can be a leader a horse wants, moving toward safety and dominating with compassion. And boom!

It’s the meaning of Peaceful Persistence. We practice a consistent attitude that remains light. We balance the horse’s natural negativity, their survival instinct, by being optimistic. It’s serious work because it doesn’t come naturally. We have to teach ourselves to smile, soften our foreheads, and release our body’s tensions. It takes practice to see only the good and let go of our dark limitations. Some people are drawn to affirmative training because they don’t want to pick fights with horses, only to find this inner challenge. Railbirds are critical, thinking we’re permissive but they miss the point. We are courageously changing who we are. So yes, it takes us the time it takes, too. Simple still doesn’t mean easy, but humans and horses both seek safety. Call it peace or any fancy word you want. The first two synonyms for safety are security and freedom. The fine line between those two words is the elusive harmony we seek.

The balance we want with horses is inside us. We must become the thing we seek. Affirm the perfection of the moment and ignore the rest. Simply release your horse forward, grateful for the first step, without a blink of concern. Then let your horse be beautiful.

…

If you appreciate what I do, please Subscribe to this blog or join us at The Barn School.

Anna Blake, Relaxed & Forward

Want more? Become a “Barnie.” Subscribe to our online training group with affirmative demonstration videos, audio blogs, daily quotes, free participation in “group lessons”, and live chats with Anna. Become part of the most supportive group of like-minded horsepeople anywhere.

Anna teaches ongoing courses like Calming Signals and Affirmative Training at The Barn School, along with virtual clinics and our infamous Happy Hour. Everyone’s welcome.

Visit annablake.com to find archived blogs, purchase signed books, schedule a live consultation, subscribe for email delivery of this blog, or ask a question about the art and science of working with horses.

Affirmative training is the fine art of saying yes.