The foal’s name was Sunny, his registered name Sunbrite Sunset. This photo was taken just before we met. The rest is history. Our history.
Disclaimer: I’m not talking about death this time, but something much worse: technology. If you are just going to dismiss what I’m about to say because you think you are that one unique horse owner who hates technology, please spare me. We all hate technology. You have two options. You can hide in the barn and complain about tech taking over the world, or you can tame it for your purposes, like the capable person you are. I should also add that you are reading this on some sort of tech device, maybe your phone. And cell phones mean we’re off our leashes.
Have you considered keeping an online diary for your horse? Or a blog that you can keep private and only share if you want to? Think of it as a shoebox with all your precious things. I always suggest it in my writing workshops. (If you are thinking you are a lousy writer, please read the above paragraph, substituting the word “writing” for the word “technology.” And really, we have to stop this name calling.)
First chose some software. Do a quick search of free online diaries or blogs and let one catch your eye. Now for the fun part. Pick your favorite colors and a font you wouldn’t use in broad daylight. Give it a secret password. Drag and drop some photos. Think of this software as your hideout, your clubhouse, your barn inside the house. Make it personal, one for each horse or one that will stable the herd. Mine started as a love song to my farm.
Find your horse’s original bill of sale and the first photos. Round up vet bills along with any x-rays you have. Ask your vet for their digital records and import them. Then receipts from body workers and farriers and try to translate their writing into English. A health record that is all in one place could be a serious asset in the future. Make a list of blanket and hoof boot sizes. Supplements you like and those that didn’t work. Make a point of using the brand names because years from now, who can remember?
Add notes you have from clinics. Recently, I stumbled upon a notebook from a clinic in the early 90s and was surprised by the lasting impact it has had on me to this day. Writing is an aspect of learning. Gather it all up. Yes, the details of their lives are scattered all over, but winter is coming. You’ll have time.
This is my favorite part. Get a glass of wine or a bowl of peach cobbler and write about the first time you saw your horse. Close your eyes and return to the day. How did the air smell? How did you decide? What happened when you brought them home? Tell the origin story of your partnership.
You might think it’s too late to start if your horse isn’t a foal, but it’s never too late. Reminiscing is good. If you have a rescue horse, write about their mystery or the start you wish they had. Then write about the first time you had buyer’s regret, because that’s always part of it, if only for an instant. Include the health scares. Relate the stories of your horse’s great courage and your best adventures. Write about all the fears and thrills, and describe how your horse changed over the years.
Too much writing, you say? Try a free voice-to-text app. You can dictate while you drive to the feed store. Technology is your friend.
Still too much? Consider creating a shorthand timeline. It can be as simple as a list of numbers that corelates to your horse’s age. Youth, maturity, and elder time. You can write it in any order, fill in the blanks as you go, just enough fragments that you remember the days. Use the project as a way of marking time and celebrating achievements.
- 1 year (6.5 human years) Oh, precocious little one. How was the first hoof trim, the first trailer ride, the first everything? Did you take care your horse didn’t grow up too fast?
- 4 years (20.5 human years) A patient age to start, when the horse is physically and mentally ready. These are the salad days, the greenest of green, and it’s all about gaining confidence. Did you check his gastric health? What goals will you two pursue?
- 10 years (35.5 human years) This is the prime of a horse’s life. Celebrate the mature and capable years. Consider beginning joint maintenance.
- 15 years (48 human years) The horses have moved into mid-life and it’s come too soon. Enjoy the view. They are still strong, but the unspoken truth is there.
- 22 years (65.5 human years) You blinked and your horse is a senior. Like Indian Summer, the days take on rich colors.
- 27 years (78 human years) Survival instinct means they are still capable of a short canter. We can supplement their feed to keep their weight. Special attention and precious days.
- 30 years (85.5 human years) Such a life you’ve shared. Perhaps it’s time to check their quality of life against the winter ahead. You say thank you in every way you know how.
Write a book, keep a diary, or make a list, but stay current with your horse in every stage of their lives. Please don’t look away. It’s important to acknowledge the landmarks. First time experiences, their inevitable maturity, and the moments of natural decline. Tenderly knowing all horse stories end the same way.
Like taking a spoonful of poison a day, we have to let them age. Of course, it happens too quickly, so we learn to celebrate the days that came before. Sometimes, while talking to a group, I say the word “retire” and you’d think I’d suggested we grill some kittens. It’s as if retiring a horse was a failure, a disgrace, rather than an honor and a gift of gratitude. As if we have less value ourselves as we age. We should be proud of our experience, wisdom, and skill required to make a life worth loving.
Here’s to the last sunset together. No regret, not one moment wasted in the presence of a horse. Let them be eternal. Hoard their memory in words.
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What great ideas. I had not thought of using a blog this way. I have pictures in boxes and other info in files but tons of it is increasing on my phone and computer.
It’s great software because it’s searchable and you can have categories. Really useful. Thanks Mary
This is definitely a worthwhile endeavor. I’ve been doing it for a while now for all my animals and I’m so glad I’ve taken the time to do so. I use WordPress also and it’s easier than I would have expected. I love that I can add/edit when I come across a picture I forgot about or Facebook shows me a memory that I didn’t think to include.
If you ever consider doing a course or workshop on this I’d be all in for sure. My biggest struggle is making the time to round up the pictures and do the writing – maybe making it a group project could motivate us all?
Thanks, Gina. I wrote this to see if there was interest in a group effort over at the Barn School. ( https://relaxedandforward.com/ )
Thank you for this. I’ll start tonight.
Yay, I hope you enjoy it as I have. Thanks Sidney.
yes but not to “grilling kittens”!!
The worst words I could think of! Thanks, Kate
Thank you, Anna. Yes, I have kept a daily journal of Wynonna’s 6 years with me. I have a calendar for each year with just notes, plus expenses, etc but I also have a much more detailed diary on my computer which goes more into detail about what we did each day, notes from lessons taken, our rides and time together each day. I’ve gone back several times to re-read the first few months and also to refresh on knowledge and insights from teachers. It’s wonderful to have.
The gazillion photos are on my iPhone (of course)and it is nice that the phone has the date and time of photo…for special ones I will do the ‘i’ (info) and make a short note. I will look into your method but I have over 2,000 entries at this point…so probably won’t change over right now.
I am going to share your post with some of my barn friends. Thanks.
So wonderful to hear that you’ve done this, such respect for your mares. Thanks, Verna
I’m keeping a journal “Gus’s Great Adventure.” I had not thought to do a blog! Such a great idea!
Oh, Kaylene. Yesyesyes. Because Gus has a big future!
I used to keep journals with Chico’s pretty much daily/weekly info. Actual written paper journals!! But that was over twenty years ago – still have them somewhere along with the other various pictures, his registration papers vet bills etc.
Like lots of other “stuff” relating to most of my former dogs, cats etc. Hard to “hoe” out even after all these years.
Yup, I started that way too, written out. So much easier now. Thanks, Maggie. PS dogs and cats count.
This essay is so wonderful & how I wish I had journaled –in any format– about my horses when they first came to me ! Now & then I run across notes and am amazed how much has been forgotten or lost in the shuffle of papers.
This is fabulous advice & I hope your readers do this if they arent already. Sadly, seems 90% of my records are detective notes regarding mysterious health problems. But going forward, I plan to include more of the magic.
WordPress whipped my butt years ago but might give it another try .
Yes, it seems I write to counterbalance all the dull but important stuff. Thanks, Sarah. And help is on the way.
Wonderful advice!
I used an app, Stable Companion, both when I worked for a trainer and needed to track many horses, and when I just did “my guys”. I think it’s s paid app now? You can upload X-rays, bills, vaccines etc, and there’s a place to enter lot numbers of wormers and vaccines in case of recall. There was a visit when the Vet’s technology was on the fritz, he was seriously frustrated he couldn’t bring up X-rays from 2 years ago, and I was able to bring up the actual X-rays he had taken in seconds on my phone. It really helped the visit and the dx, he would have had to come back. He ended up looking into various stable management apps for himself. It’s not the only one out there, it’s just the I’ve had experience with. it had more features than I needed, but I found that tech so worth it and helpful! I let a number of major life changes derail my blog, and I regret it, as necessary as it was at the time. It’s wonderful to have a record of all the amusing things that happened!
Thanks, Jane. I’m off to look at the app. Just to say, though we have never met, your blog inspired me back then. Thanks for that, too.
Thank you, Anna. I kept a handwritten daily journal of my horse– sometimes longer reflections especially when our relationship was still new, other times notes on my lessons, sketchy diagrams of patterns and activities we tried, interspersed with vet notes, etc. On nights when I was too tired, I just made lists of 3 good things from our ride today. It really helped me look back over time to see when did that feeling of her being “off” actually start and how long did it take to heal? or Wow, that was the day we really got it, whatever “it” was at the time. The journal still sits on my night stand, though I unexpectedly lost my mare some months ago. I can hardly bear to open it yet, but I am grateful I have some record of those precious years.
I love the idea of an online journal where I could incorporate the gazillion photos we all take alongside the writing —- I will do that for my next partner some day. Makes me smile to think about having another creature to do that for.
Wonderful comment, Diane. Thank you. Here’s to a new journal sooner than later, and sorry for your loss.
I have been around horses for six decades, love them so much and have had many wonderful horses. I now have two who live on my property. One wonderful, spooky OTTB rescue who keeps me honest and on my toes, and one amazing Friesian that I purchased as my main riding prospect. Unfortunately, (long sad story) I will be his long-time nurse from here on out and I have no problem with that. I just wanted to say that I have been around many trainers, read books, blogs and tons of information, but I connect to and love everything you write and publish. It is so fun to read, yet also profoundly sad in some cases, and that is what keeps it real. Thank you for the suggestion of keeping all my memories. I have things scattered all over the place and now will start compiling and start a blog. Many thanks to you, Anna!
Thanks for the kind words, Giselle. We have a lot in common, as the long-term caregivers. The truth is I’ve been nostalgic for the ghost herd this week. Glad you’ll round yours up.