Nube: What If This Isn’t Wrong?

My first ex-husband used to tease me about my frantic love of shortcuts. I was always up early, on the run, impatient as a kindergarten class five minutes before recess. My multitasking skills were nothing short of genius, I thought. I did the work of a dozen in half the time. When my plans derailed, … Read more

The Joy of Imperfection

We are sick to death of the violence against horses. It isn’t just the damage caused by rollkur in reining and dressage, or racing youngsters until their legs break, or the tragic mess rodeo has become, or the horses being tossed to auction for the crime of being old or lame. My personal thorn in … Read more

What It Means to Love a Horse

I’m talking to a new client who contacted me for help, asking them to tell me about their horse. They begin by explaining to me that they love their horse. I want to stop them already. I know it’s bad, but I am the very last person on the earth that anyone needs to explain … Read more

Horses Measuring Intelligence in Humans

It’s my fault for asking for blog topics. She writes, “Can you possibly do a blog post on why your horse isn’t your therapist/best friend/ emotional support, etc etc etc? I am constantly inundated with rubbish “feel good” toxic positivity meme things.” Well, I will take the challenge, but I think I’ll come at it … Read more

Human Calming Signals: Help Your Horse to Take Your Cue

You think it’s a simple task you’re asking your horse to do. You use an affirmative approach, not willing to intimidate your horse. Then you calm yourself and breathe, and your horse does nothing. Why isn’t it working? That Anna person says it isn’t what we ask a horse, it’s how we ask. Well, you’re … Read more

Bhim: Through Life Drama and Training Plateaus

It’s been six months now since starting Bhim’s Training Diary online. But time is a fluid thing for a horse. Bhim came to my farm for training, only a month or so, in the fall of 2013. So yeah, it’s been nine years. Or ten. Recently someone said, “Well, it’s not like you’ve been working … Read more

Human Calming Signals: I Want my Horse to be Fearless.

  So, you want a horse that doesn’t spook? Don’t we all? Great, you wanna look for something over 25 years old. Not a bad idea to plug cotton in his ears and put blinders on his bridle. Not what you had in mind? Then a railbird has a suggestion. “You know horses can read … Read more

Nube: An Iberian Stall Toy for the Donkeys

In the first months after coming to our farm, it was a simple schedule for Nube:  wrestle, eat, sleep, repeat. The horses were kind, but it was mutually agreed they could do without Nube’s adolescent fart games.  It was great news because fart games are the bread and butter of donkey life. I’d given the … Read more

How to Measure the Heart of a Horse

Have you experienced this? Someone says something that is a throw-away comment, not meant to be anything, they toss it not intending any harm. I mean it, kind people having a thoughtful conversation, and one of them says the new horse is close to perfect and she likes him a lot, but she somehow does … Read more

Calming Signals: Adjusting the Volume of Quiet

It’s been quiet here. Winter is good for that and we haven’t had a day above freezing in a while. Fewer people are out driving and no tractors or lawnmowers are chewing things up. It’s too cold for the dogs to supervise from the yard. They are literary dogs anyway, much happier sleeping on dog … Read more

Silent Night: The Truest Words Aren’t Words At All.

I was standing outside of a hotel at five in the morning waiting for my limo. Obviously, several things had gone wrong and it wasn’t even dawn yet. I was pacing, wondering if the limo would cost more than my flight home when I saw a horse sculpture. It was not quite abstract or realistic. … Read more

Reverse Anthropormophism: Building A Better Relationship

Do you ever go to the barn and pretend to be a cowboy? You’d wear the shirt that matched your saddle pad and put on a Hell Hat. You’d take a deep seat and a faraway look, you’d make out over the land for the herd, whether you have one or not. Horses can like … Read more

Calming Signals: What Normal Looks Like

Do you ever think about what horses give up in living with us? Humans have a way of always seeing ourselves as the solution, resting confidently in the knowledge that we are their saviors. We have a bank account to prove it. We talk about what they do for us, but rarely consider the cost … Read more

Calming Signal Substitutions: Helping Your Horse

Most of us are old enough to remember what a rolled-up newspaper is for. Wacking the dog, of course. Because dogs are destructive and must be taught to behave. The dog would have something in his mouth, like a shoe or a roll of toilet paper or a measly old sock on the way to … Read more

Brain Science and the Art of Play

It’s cold on the flat windy treeless prairie of Colorado. The next few months will be even colder but right now, we have no tolerance so forty degrees brings out the Elmer Fudd hat. By spring, we’ll be talking trash about a North Pole expedition because the horses are wooly enough and we’ve been wearing … Read more

The Best Horse Conversations Start With “No”

Imagine that each time you climbed on your horse, he began to move in a slow canter, so rhythmic and balanced that you can just close your eyes. Never a wrong step, never a moment of confusion. Your horse knows the routine so well, you don’t need to cue him. You let yourself be lulled, … Read more

How Humans are Different from Horses

In the beginning, a filly is born. In the hospital, a baby girl human is born.  The filly stands almost immediately. The girl breathes and cries. In less than one week, the filly gambols laps around her mother on long legs at breakneck speed. She is champing, a calming signal sending a clear message, and … Read more

Calming Signals: How Do You Listen To a Horse?

What is your first memory of listening to a horse? Not standing next to a horse and being certain he loved you. Not daydreaming about galloping him on the beach or burying your tear-drenched face in his mane and hiding. None of these things are listening. They are moments we might feel a connection because … Read more