We are camping in the yard lately. Did you do it when you were a kid? I’m hooked. Evenings are my favorite time on my farm. A prairie breeze cools the air. The thunderstorms have scared the clouds from the sky, and we all settle in to wait for the sunset. Well, not all of us.
Jolene and I are working on our relaxation protocol. We use a mat, but sometimes I wonder if we need something stronger. I’ve tried it a few ways, trying to find our groove. If treats are involved, she just bolts to the mat in a treat frenzy before I can get the word out. It was our second session, but relaxation was not on the menu. Our third try, Mister helped. And by that I mean, he ran to the mat first, hop-barking and wagging hard enough to knock her over. She joined in and barked soprano. And by that I mean Tony Soprano. Her bark is a crystal-shattering shrill screech that makes my ears ring. Too high pitched for Tony, you say? She gets the name for her swaggering strut. Irresistible, these two. It was slam-dance fun. They bolted to the mat, they did short sit-stays. I cheered, and we all had a good wag. Next time, I’ll remember to put Mister inside. He passes her all the answers to the quiz.
We have a clinic in Wyoming next week and we’re practicing. It will be Jolene’s first working trip. She would like to remind you that being my dog isn’t all that easy. Mister, with 28k miles under his collar, is an old pro at the job. Mister thinks it’s easy because he is a world class closed-eye meditation and yoga master. His pentacle pose is spectacular. Jolene is barking at the fan.
At home, Jolene likes to sit on her tree stump and watch for spaceships in the evening. She sits out when we camp, too, our first line of defence if there’s an alien invasion. We have an ex-pen patio that looks like we just throw all our trash on the ground. After dark, Mister and I close the door and sip wine. Jolene knocks when she’s ready for bed.
In the morning, I expect to see toys strewn all over the patio. I expect that a high percentage of her toys are packing materials, while she ignores the toys that came in them. This morning, there was a horseshoe right by the door. I have no idea how it got here. It’s a draft-size iron shoe that’s seriously heavy for her to carry. It’s rusty enough that I’m fairly certain she didn’t take it off of a horse, at least. Jolene looks up at the dawning sky.
Have you heard about enough about this puppy? My statistics are dropping and I’ve had some comments to get back to the horses. A reminder: Fifteen years of free training blogs on my website (here.)Or better yet, buy one of my seven books here. Now, where was I?
There is a lot of drama in the horse world about trailering. I wonder sometimes if people are more anxious about the trailer than horses. Then the horse looks at their human’s tense neck and squinty eyes, beginning to worry the human sees something that they don’t. It’s still a partnership, just not one either of you benefit from.
Jolene is blissfully ignorant of the horse world, the lucky pup. She sees the trailer as a giant toy box where we eat and sleep. No fear because it’s the perfect crate. But during the clinic, I will be gone for hours. Our routine will change, the surroundings will smell different. Mister will be her anchor, at least when he’s awake. Just like horses, she won’t know where she is or if she will come home again. When you see her side, or your horse’s, it isn’t so simple. But isn’t that usually the way? We train for things that they can’t know yet. So, we work on gaining a fluid confidence because it’s the trait that matters in this uncertain world.
I recently bought some puppy paraphernalia online and I’m getting a flood of ads about training your puppy in an hour. The problems listed are all natural behaviors, but things impatient people want stopped. Dogs must be tamed to human convenience and there are lots of people selling it. Here’s an example. Dozens talk about stopping your pup from biting when anyone with common sense would know that the puppy is teething. Jolene says half her teeth are old needles and half are giant teeth that don’t fit. The thing they call biting goes away with the puppy teeth. You can fight it or you can help with it. My solution is to keep the squeaky pineapple in my pocket.
There’s no denying that puppies are giant pains. There’s the barking and chewing and all that poop. Your life isn’t your own in the beginning. Or ever again, if you’re lucky. Maybe you think I spoil Jolene with Affirmative Training and she has to learn to be obedient. As if I ever learned it. If you’re going to be nippy about hair on the furniture, limit yourself to humans. Spare dogs your indifference to their needs. Get a different accessory.
Want to know the non-secret of to Affirmative training? It isn’t for horses or dogs or even donkeys. It’s about us learning to keep our arrogance on a leash. Our egos on permanent stall rest. They always say that animals change us, but if that was true, we wouldn’t have overcrowded shelters. It was never about training them. We are the ones who think we’re the superior animal, forcing our will on others since the moment we were born. We’re the spoiled ones. But I digress.
After the moon rises, Jolene swaggers into the trailer. There’s a “stool” that’s a half step to the bed. Mister bounds up and sploots on the far pillow. Jolene barks. I can tell she’s exhausted, but she doesn’t want me to lift her. I tried adding smaller first step. She pushed it aside and barked. I’ve tried a pillow ramp. She barked, obviously a lousy idea. I got the dog steps from the house bed, but still she barked. Apparently, camping means roughing it.
Jolene bonded with Mister before me. I encouraged it because Mister needed to know my priorities. But I can help her now. We have a big week ahead. Wyoming skies and tramping after varmints in the pasture. Jolene will meet her first big dog, a beautiful lab named Bailey. There’s an indoor arena, with sand for miles. She will wait impossible hours and I’ll prove that I always come back. A new world awaits and puppies are welcome.
I’m not worried. Jolene is as smart as she is bold. Her impulse control is horrible, but about right where you’d expect for her age. Jolene will charm everyone because puppies do that. Mister and I know she’s not as tough as she acts, and we’ll swagger in behind her, looking ridiculously tough. Or maybe just ridiculous.
Living with animals isn’t fixing inconvenient behaviors. The job is to not make them human, just to find a way to get along. We can let go of needing them to be perfect, because they already are. And seeing the world through their eyes is an improvement. Even inspiring. So we start small. Wage peace with a puppy.
Meanwhile, Jolene is still mad at the bed, barking out her frustration, screeching, I’ll do it myself! Gosh, where have I heard that before?
I pull Jolene onto my lap and stroke her neck. One deep breath and she settles and yawns, a calming signal. She looks away, and her body softens. She’s letting me be the relaxation mat. Now we’re communicating, not just hollering. And it’s like I always say about horse training. We’ve got time. Rome didn’t burn in a day.
Part 9 in a series. (Here’s Part 1 and Part 2 and Part 3 and Part 4 and Part 5 and Part 6 and Part 7 and Part 8)
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I love the term “fluid confidence” since plans never seem to go accordingly.
Are you using a leash at all with Jolene? I’m just wondering how to go about off-leash training for a puppy.
Exactly! and thanks for asking, Susan. I never let either dog off leash when traveling. Bunnies happen. It isn’t safe. So we are walk on a relaxed lead, even if it’s in her mouth right now. Call it leading from behind. We practice off-leash and recall at home. And that’s why the indoor arena is so great. Zoomies will abound.
She is just too cute! So glad you are having fun with her.
She is a wolf in sheep’s clothing! But I agree, Virginia. Thank you.
I love the Joleen stories. Keep them coming. Of course, I love all your writing.
Thanks, Laurel… for all the years you’ve been reading along.
hey Jolene stories are good.
not least because its all connected , surely.
everything we love, connected, with learning in each layer.
have a good trip. look forward to hearing all about it!!
Thanks, Chris. We say hello and then goodbye. Bittersweet, but more sweet.
You keep writing (about pretty much anything) and I’ll keep reading.
Thanks Dawn. Happy to hear.
I love your keeping us “ up -to-date” with Jolene’s puppyhood, settling in and diving into her new life! Not only is it fun to read, but the information and advice is so valuable for a lot of situations ( working and living with various animals ) I, not only,work with draft horses, but adopted a 5 year old dog, a year ago. Watching her transformation, learning that this is her home and becoming part of the family has been delightful and educational ( and it still is!) So, Yes! Please continue to grace us, with Jolene’s diary!
Thank you!
Life with animals! Thanks, Frannie. Love those drafts.
love reading about Jolene! Happy Trails for your Wyoming adventure!
Thanks, Kate.
I came here today just for the Jolene stories, so please don’t stop sharing! Don’t get me wrong, the horse stuff is what brought me here. But honestly there is so much crossover with animals, it’s all great! The value-add with dogs is that we get the really intensive view. My horses appreciate daily interaction but I think they would tire of me if they lived in the house 😊
Heheh, well dogs do sleep a lot! But you’re right. The similarities and differences are something I think about a lot.Thanks, Shaste
On the question « Have you heard about enough about this puppy?«, my response is never enough… Jolene’s stories make me smile, even make me respond… so no not nearly enough for me.
About the « job is to not make them human, just to find a way to get along »… I’d say it’s maybe worse for dogs than for horses in that horses have their herds if we let them. To most domesticated dogs, we are herd, and for better or worse, we are alpha dog… making separation anxiety all the harder when life imposes… So to me it’s about helping her find homeostatis, adapt serenely to big changes in her Universe… herd of three.
Agreed, Prita. Mister needed her more than I did. They tell us so many species need their own to live with. Dogs have been living with us centuries longer than horses, something I have been exploring. For now, we just love her.
You share too well, Anna. Looks like there will be two small additions to further take over my life. I am now living alone (just lost the love of my life to cancer) on a small farm with my two horses, and looks like two Cavalier King Charles Spaniel puppies. I say the five of us will have a wonderful, playful, and no doubt often challenging, life. “Rome didn’t burn in a day.” — we’ll see about that! Can’t wait.
You’re welcome?? Congrats, Kathy, on taking the leap.
So sorry for your loss, Kathy – I’m sure those pups will be challenging – thats not a bad thing.
Please keep us informed about Jolene. I want to be her godmother. I’ve read and seen it all twice about horse training. You either make it work, or you don’t. Jolene is a fun diversion written about in a clever way. New horse stories will come about as you have them. Best wishes.
Thanks, Paula. I was looking for a diversion in life and in writing. Thanks, and please be her godmother. She needs about 50 guardian angels, too.
I love all the blogs you write, no matter what the subject. These puppy blogs are just as riveting to me as the horse ones. I also have a young dog, went through the older puppy stage last year (she was a rescue, about 8 months old) and can see my young Corgi in your young Vallhund. Please don’t stop writing about her!
Thanks for reading, no matter. I appreciate that. Vallhunds are nicknamed Wolf Corgis and they have different heritage, but it should seem familiar. Tough herding dogs. Glad to have you in the pack!
Ditto!
And this is probably a strange place to post this instead of the first post about her, I just love that name, Jolene!
I have to admit that I haven’t kept up with any of my mail for quite a number of weeks now. We recently adopted two new adult dogs, each with very very serious issues.
The initial intention was to adopt a gorgeous, but very, very disturbed three year-old Bernese mountain dog. Arya has gone from home to home and while I see a ton of potential, she almost makes me cry daily with her fear issues.
The woman who was fostering her, a dear horsewoman friend of mine of over 30 years, knew that after losing two dogs last year, we were starting to look for a third member of our pack. When this BMD hit their rescue, she immediately got in touch with me. In the week and a half or so that the rescue and Foster had her prior to our adopting her, the rescue also took in several Doberman‘s from a horrific hoarder situation. (If you want to be disturbed, do a search on “81 Dobermans, Ohio” and it’ll probably come up)
So instead of just going to pick up BMD Arya we also picked up a two year old female Doberman with scars all over her body who has a cropped tail and show style cut ears. She’s absolutely gorgeous although her mammaries say she was bred though only 2. ☹️The vet says she’s probably already had two litters. Both dogs are horrifically thin. Dan and I have been spending a lot of time trying not to have murderous thoughts about the people who put these animals in condition they are in because we don’t want to scare the poor dogs.
Neither dog has training. Not housebroken, nothing in the way of simple “obedience” – sit, come… nothing. When we moved here, we designed our fenced yard for our then forward dogs to be very large so that the dogs would have plenty of area to roam and sniff and play and sun themselves.
Poor Stella and Arya are still going out on 25 foot lunge lines because they literally run into the fences they are so frantic. We have so much work to do, and we are spending a good six hours a day at least taking care of these poor creatures. I could write here all day on all of the hurdles we are contending with but I don’t have time and it just depresses me. But mostly it makes me dislike the evil people these poor dogs have encountered SO intensely.
So please wish me luck.
Oh, our seven-year-oldGolden Retriever Grace and our 13? 14? Year-old golden retriever/Aussie mix Sadie are trying to help their new sisters. Grace keeps offering the new girls, her toys, which they promptly tear to shreds. We are such a work in progress!
All lovely thoughts directed away extremely appreciated.
I do wish you good luck, Shelley. Keep breathing. It’s a calming signal they know.
First of all Anna, I’m loving the puppy “tales”. Your “neigh” sayers just haven’t yet absorbed the universal animal knowledge that you’re currently sharing.
What struck me in your writing today was the concept of keeping our human arrogance on a leash. Noche, my husky horse that looks like the Van Gogh painting “Starry Night” (Ferd’s caretaker), is and always has been a complete hot mess at meal times. Horse screams, oblivious to where he is in space, bullying, and potential human knock downs are his regular meal time behaviors. (By the way, he has been on GI supplements almost from the start when I adopted him.) Putting my arm up to defend my space, loudly saying the word ”Back”, or shouting “No” (to avoid getting stomped) have been completely unsuccessful for the last 6 years. This year I tried another approach. When I approach with his feed, and he’s spinning and screaming, I stop dead in my tracks and wait. Initially it took several minutes for him to momentarily pause to see what the holdup was. I immediately put his food in his feeder with that instantaneous pause. Now, most times when he sees me approach, he circles away from me and stands quietly.
Why did it take me so long to see that my defensive behaviors were being perceived as arrogant and aggressive?
Wow, it’s hard being a human!
We’re so sure they will escalate… so smart to let it settle. Thanks, Laurie
I absolutely love all your dog stories of late 🙂
Thank you, Asha