Calming Signals: Another Word for Dominant

There is a wild stallion on the ridge fighting all comers for his harem of mares. We think aggression and violence maintain order in the band. Hence, we train using fear-based methods to prove we are the real alpha. It might work on the Disney channel, but it’s total fiction. Herds of horses are cooperative, … Read more

Overthinking an Undomesticated Budgie

A bright blue flick of movement, almost too small to see. White feathers spark the light, even more startling than the blue. What was that? I am not a birdwatcher in the true sense. I don’t know names or habits. I don’t keep lists or have binoculars. Sure, barn swallows have been dive-bombing me most … Read more

Travelblog: How I Stole Paris

I woke up introspective on my last full day in Paris. It’s the same way I wake up at home. I got ready to leave for the day and wrapped a scarf around my neck. I started doing that after my first Paris haircut forty years ago, and have been doing it ever since. Fashion … Read more

Travelblog: Paris is Like Visiting an Old Lover

Paris is a city full of statues of horses. They’re everywhere, I noticed on my first visit. The statues are still there now, but stands are being built for the upcoming Olympics. No, that isn’t why I went. Paris and I have history. It isn’t just my love for Collette. This is the teen angst … Read more

Travelblog: Late for the Funeral. By Three Years.

Words about friendship and death ahead. There, you’re warned. I’m still on vacation, but I’m going to talk about grieving and my human friend Elaine. I label her that way because I usually write about horses. Please smile now. This isn’t a sad essay. Friendship has always felt complicated to me. I keep the necessary … Read more

Travelblog: Thinking About Aging in Ancient Surroundings

I was in Newcastle Upon Tyne. I had finished ripping around Scotland and arrived at my hotel, where a group in the lobby might have been meeting up for prom night. It’s only a guess because, as we know, I cannot understand my birth language and it’s been fifty-four years since my last prom. But … Read more

Travelblog: It’s a Vacation. Not a Work Trip.

My first vacation in a donkey’s years started with a van ride to Denver International Airport, with the obligatory drop-off two hours early. We finally boarded and had a two-and-a-half-hour wait on the runway. All that parking meant we were hours late to Chicago. I ran and barely made the London flight, but only because … Read more

Growing Up: Self-Consciousness vs Self-Awareness

My teen years were pretty normal, meaning total angst and torture. There was that summer that I used my babysitting money to buy yards and yards of polyester double-knit fabric. I knew homemade wasn’t as good as store-bought, but I sewed a whole new school wardrobe, designed by yours truly. One outfit was lime green … Read more

Stay in Your Own Lane

I don’t mind getting stuck in traffic. It practically makes me un-American to say so. I don’t love it but I don’t get hair-tearing frustrated. I’m lucky to be an introvert who likes her own company. Perhaps a bit too much. As the youngest child, my mother expected me to go outside to play and … Read more

Nube: Undiagnosable

I hope I’m not going to end up writing some kind of justification for harsh training. Usually, it’s easier than the alternative. But here goes. It’s important to be clear about how we got here with horses. How, with all I know, I got here with my personal horse, Nube. Please understand that in all … Read more